Album Review: Miley Cyrus “The Time of Our Lives”

31 Dec

I know what you’re thinking, what the hell is John doing writing a Miley Cyrus review when he has yet to do his top albums of the year list, well the answer is I’m not ready yet and I’ve heard this album too many times thanks to my sister to not want to comment on it. Well here we go my review of a Miley Cyrus album

Well the album starts out how you’d expect if you’ve ever heard a Miley Cyrus album before…which I have sadly. Yup faux-rawk chick Miley is back and will be here for the entirity of one song! That song this time is “Kicking and Screaming” even the name sounds like a bad attempt at rock…the best thing I can say about this song is that it’s not entirely offensive but really it’s no “See You Again” from her last album which feature her name-checking herself, oh Miley you’re so original and unique. But this review is not about “Kicking and Screaming”, it’s about the next track the uber-mega-super-duper-hit single “Party in the USA”. Every once in a while a song will come along that will change how you see music, you know in 1984 the greatest song of all time “The Unforgettable Fire” was released, in 2009 the worst piece of shit ever was released *insert Brokencyde song* but Miley redefines this all, Miley has changed my view of music now I can’t keep going until you’re all familiar with the song, so if you don’t know it, I’ll wait

Now that you know it, let’s get down to business…”Party in the USA” is objectively the worst song ever written by anybody, okay maybe not objectively the worst song ever but still I can’t believe this piece of trash has three writers, I mean it took three people to write this? I mean look at the lyrics
“Noddin’ my head like yeah
Shakin’ my hips like yeah”
Excuse me? How can you do something like yeah? You’re missing a weird here, yeah is not a description don’t pass it off like one! But the song gets worse, you know I could forgive the lazy lyric writing but what really annoys me is one of the “rhymes” I don’t know why it annoys me so much but it makes me want to bang my head against the wall, this lyric is
“‘Cause all I see are stilettos
I guess I never got the memo”
Is she seriously trying to rhyme these two words together? It sure sounds like it, maybe she’s not but it still annoys the hell out of me because the lyrics are just so incredibly bad, how do people get paid to write this stuff? If they wrote for a paper they’d be fired, if they wrote books they’d never be published, if they write pop songs…they make millions, just no.

The album continues on with a bunch of songs I can’t remember, eventually we have a duet with the Joe Bros, which is probably the best song on the album, not saying a lot but still. Then things end with the terribly boring and insanely predictable “The Climb”, you can literally pinpoint where the strings will start playing when you’re listening to it for the first time, it’s THAT predictable.

Honestly this could be worse, but hell it’s just so boring overall and “Party in the USA” is awful, yes this whole review was just an excuse to rant about that song. Hope you enjoyed

1.25/5

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One Response to “Album Review: Miley Cyrus “The Time of Our Lives””

  1. SLCPunk 04/01/2010 at 04:21 #

    This review alone is pretty much a guarantee I will not listen to Miley ever.

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