The Ten Worst Albums of 2010

The first year of a new decade.  As we begin to wrap up 2010, you’ve got to wonder what the future holds for music.  Are we just rehashing the same old scene again and again, or is there something truly new and original happening around us?  As always, I like to believe it’s a little of both.  Once again I listened to far too many albums than what is good for my social life, and once again I am unhappy with the order I have them ranked in.  So instead of airing my self-hatred out on the blog, we’re going to do something a little different this year.  As the month of December progresses, I’m going to be updating the blog frequently with lists here and there.  All of it eventually culminating in my top 70 of the year. 

For me, this year wasn’t just about discovering new music from this decade, but from all decades in which “rock and roll” has existed.  I’ll be counting down my top ten discoveries from each decade between the 60’s-2000’s, once again we’ll take a look at my favorite “Big, Dumb Pop Songs”, my favorite pop albums, as well as whatever else I may have up my sleeve.  It should be fun.

But there’s one order of business we need to take care of first.

It’s the fun stuff.

It’s…

THE TEN WORST ALBUMS OF 2010!

10.) Usher ~ Raymond v. Raymond

Get it, it's a mirror because it's him...against himself. See?

Apparently Usher was already well aware of what a dud he had on his hands, when, not even five months after the release of the album, he stopped releasing singles (only one of which I personally ever heard on the radio) from it and replaced it with the follow-up EP:  The ever so aptly named Versus.

It’s sad to see Usher fall out of grace as he has over the last few years.  There was a time when Usher was the pinnacle of all that was R&B, but now it seems like he’s an outsider looking in, trying to understand what is trendy, and attempting to recreate it about six months after said trends have faded away.

Here’s to hoping Usher takes some time to reflect on his career before his next album and really gets back to basics, leading the pack, rather than biting at the runt’s heels.

9.) Ozzy Osbourne – Scream

I guess it says something about who you are as an artist when even a late career monstrosity such as this gains you some radio play.  I was proud of myself the day I managed to sit through this whole album.  Proud…dazed…confused…the whole shebang.  I’m still not quite sure what happened.  Perhaps Ozzy just rocked my face too hard.  Regardless, I’ve managed to hear the title track from this bad boy on the radio more than I’ve heard “Crazy Train” lately, and that’s really saying something.  Something…oh so very, very horrible.

8. Katy Perry – Teenage Dream

I have a serious question to pose to you, Ms. Perry (Mrs. Brand?): How do you screw up an album with a Snoop Dogg cameo? I’m giving you the fiercest Tsk-ing face I can manage right now.  Can you feel it through the computer?  No?  You’re too busy being rich, married to a semi-famous person and raking in the Grammy noms?  Fine, you win this round.  But, I’ll be back.

Perhaps it’s the fault of Dr. Luke alone that resulted in my absolute hatred for this album, but when I heard it for the first (and only, let’s admit that right now) time, I was filled with an unfathomable rage.  Katy Perry had managed to rip off every single thing I loved about Ke$ha and somehow turn it into something foul and evil. How dare you, Katy Perry….how dare you.

While I can usually excuse most pop albums for being fluff and move on, I just can’t get over my absolute hatred for this album.  And yet, there are still seven more to come?

7.) Ke$ha ~ Cannibal (EP)

Sweetie, this is not a good look for you.

But, no one can take all that is good and right about Ke$ha and turn it as foul as Ke$ha herself can.

A misguided (at best) attempt to propel her nasty girl image as far as it could go, Ke$ha managed to take something that was fun and loose and turn it into something…creepy and perverted.

It’s funny to think that I could claim this to be my biggest disappointment of the year, an EP (which, by the way, I never usually count in my year listening stats, but I was just THAT upset by this thing) by a pop star who I’ve never taken seriously to begin with.

What makes me so frustrated is that Ke$ha had something good going for her, she had an image, and somewhere along the line, I guess she just lost sight of what that image was, and instead, turned into a female Kanye West.

6.) Ringo Starr ~ Y Not

How can anyone dislike an album with a cover like this?

Whoever allowed Ringo Starr to turn to Hillary Duff as his spiritual/career guru should probably be fired.

I’ll tell you “Y Not” Ringo, this is Y:

Ringo Starr – Peace Dream

Seriously, for the love of all that is good and right on Earth, listen to that song, it’s a modern-day “Imagine” I swear to you.

For crying out loud, Ringo, you put a B-side from 1992 on here.

But, I just can’t stay mad at you, as misguided as this album was, I don’t think anything else this year gave me quite the smile that this one did.  One of those, “aw come here and let me ruffle your hair kind of smiles,” but a smile none-the-less.

5.) Avey Tare ~ Down Here

Avey Tare’s solo joint isn’t this low on the list because I found it hilariously bad or unlistenable, it’s more to do with the fact, and I’m quoting myself here from a forum I frequent, that the album sounds like Avey Tare saying to the audience, “Oh hai, I’m Avey Tare. Perhaps you’ve heard of my other band, Animal Collective? They sound just like this, only not mediocre.”

While the album had a few high points, in the end, it really was just watered down Animal Collective, and coming on the heels of such a great output from them so recently, this album fell flatter than a pancake (excuse the poor metaphor) onto my ears and was quite the disappointing listen.

4.) David Byrne & Fatboy Slim ~ Here Lies Love

This album has the not-so-grand distinction of being the only album of the year I can not remember a single solitary thing about, save that I was bored to tears while listening to it.  I should’ve just quit while I was ahead instead of trying to force a relationship that was just not going to happen, but it was the middle of the year when I heard it, and I was padding stats like whoa at the time.  I like both of these gentlemen individually, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what it was they were trying to do with this album.

And let’s face it, the fact that it was a double album did nobody any favors.  Well, at least not me.

3.) The Books ~ The Way Out

What an innocent cover you have.

I was tempted to leave this album off of my list entirely, what with, when having listened to it I wasn’t feeling very well, and the repetition sent waves of pain to the very center of my brain to the point where, had I been listening to a CD I would have taken it out of the drive, broken it across my knee and tossed it out the window into the street and waited there, watching until someone ran it over.

However, the fact is, I just don’t like music like this.  Music, that Wikipedia is telling me is referred to as “sound collage”.  If I was more clever I’d find some sort of painful Gordan Ramsey-esque insult metaphor to use instead of that phrase, but I’m not, so I won’t.

I’m sure this is an unpopular opinion, but hey, we can’t all agree.  I’m sure my favorite album of the year is going to be this low on a great many people’s lists.

2.) Lil Wayne ~ Rebirth

Remember the good ole days when you could chill on a couch and not be in prison?

Literally all year this album sat at the bottom of my list as the worst thing to happen to music in 2010.  I didn’t think it would be possible to outdo this heinous attempt at rock music.  I was wrong.  Somehow, someway just one week ago, an album managed to do what even Lil Wayne could not.  Not have a single redeemable quality to it.

Hell, even Rebirth had ONE song on it I liked.  (It was “Ground Zero” for the record).

And the worst album of 2010 was?

:drumroll:

1.) My Chemical Romance ~ Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

*Slow Clap*

Congratulations, MCR.  Really, well done.

I mean, let’s consider a moment what you’ve done here.  You managed to write an album that most people across the board enjoyed (I’m referring to The Black Parade here) and what did you do with the trust and admiration that the music world gave you?

You released a concept album about a post-apocalyptic radio station broadcasting pirate radio in the desert.

I mean, just…just think about that for a second.

And people think The Wall’s concept was far-fetched.

The thing that disappoints me more than anything else is the way the critics are eating this album up with two spoons.

As I already said, there was literally nothing on this album I enjoyed.  Nothing I would ever purposely go back to.  Not even the stupid fun of  “Na Na Na Na Na Na Na *ad nasueum*”  could survive after a spin through this travesty.

So congrats.  You win, or something.

Well, there you have it.  The ten worst things that 2010 had to offer.  Just know that it can only go up from here.

But seriously, listen to that song of Ringo’s I posted earlier.  I’m telling you, your life really has no meaning until you do.